I woke up at 2:00am and thought….today is the actual day she took her last assisted breath here on earth and her first eternal beyond. I woke up feeling like she nudged me to wake up. All I could think about was all the great things she did and how amazing she was….is.
I never thought I would be speaking of my mom in this way. I just never thought about that. There’s a part of me that is empty and misses her physical human connection. I knew she loved me no matter what. I knew she never judged me no matter what. It’s just one of those things that’s just guaranteed.
Or sometimes when you just need a hug and told that everything will be ok. My mother saw me in my fullness always. She believed in me always… I’m so grateful for that.
I know she’s still with me non-physically and that’s the biggest gift I could ever receive. I can see the sun shining through all the fog. And it’s shining ever so bright!
I needed to get these feelings out, but feel them as I let go of the things I have no control over. The gift is in front of me and if I continued to remember what was, that kept me away from enjoying my gift in the present. All of the ways I said that my mom would express unconditional love, was non physical emotions and somehow still happened presently…..it just looks and sounds different. But if I tried real hard I could go to that place and experience what it felt like when she was still here. And that’s the gift.
I love you Donna Elcock and thank you for your continued and consistent love.
Happy Eternal Birthday mom 🎈